Wednesday, October 19, 2016

When?

When will you stop saying you are used to it?
When will you say, you are through?.
When will you stand up and tell them stop?
When will you know it's not for true?

When will the fakeness, seize to be so?
When will you know, they aren't here for true?
When will you know it's time to give up?
When will you know this is not you!!??

Monday, September 26, 2016

Do you ever feel so???

Do you ever just feel like giving up on the place or maybe the people?
Holding in for too long , o don't you get weary of the things that happen to you.
Do you ever regret being so insecure, that your heart burns at the thought of loosing that time?..
Do you ever get scared thinking about how the past might attack you all over again?
Ever got tired of being left on your own, so tired that you wanted to go grab that pillow and wish you hadn't been moulded to be so independent after all??
Ever feared loosing those people, those little things you ignored all this while cause they were seemingly small??
Do you ever sit and think how you have been perceived before.... But o do you realize not all of that pain is meant to go away ever...
You ever get so tired,. So tired that you wanna give up on the idea on existing the way you do???
Find a new place , new you...
But o your heart it's etched now with memories and people you can never give up on..
So now what ?.
You put on a smile again, wear your armour and walk out to battle your demons!!!.
No you can't hide them , only push them back!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Do you have it or not???

Call it the effect of the westernised culture and all of its materialistic attributes, apart from the good effects like teaching us values of punctuality and professionalism the ill effects have accompanied it too..

(I'm not criticizing the culture itself) but the side effects have led to loss of morals amongst people.
The indecisiveness when it comes to standing up for a point cause we want be diplomatic, politically correct..
I do not favour the notion that we should not adapt to changing cultures, after all change is constant and favourable..
 but what about the sudden influx of moral-less, valueless young age of people who is loosing out on their core educational values.
If on one hand we can talk of our culture so proudly, of our ancestors and their values why cant we have some in us..

So my questions go like....
- How much does it take to stand up to a point you believe in?? even if it involves endangering a certain time constrained relationship?? is it all that hard to have two balls and say you support the right? instead of keeping quiet and acting political?

- How much does it take to act like a friend when you call them one? instead of making it an affair where you meet after work , or on weekends ..have a drink or two get back home and forget they exist for another week?

- What does it take to actually call a date a date and try to know each other  instead of making it a ritual to take the girl back home for your own pleasure?

- What does it take to be either white or black..? not just hanging in between where you don't even have a decent enough term to describe yourself....

- How much does it take to respect a girl? and her decisions whether an 'yes' or 'no' ? instead of forcing yourself on them..

-What does it take to realize just like guys a girl who is living in the changing society adjusting with it..going out , or partying with colleagues and being friend, having fun isn't someone who is available for anyone and everyone of you hounds.. Maybe she has some different values or oh lets face it maybe you just don't deserve it!!!

I hope not much!!!

Is it all that is left of a world you thought you could live in and survive??
And sadly enough that's what the society is promoting these days!!
Cause then all is not good with the culture that we are slowly adapting and loosing out on our own morals!!!

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Farewell my friend!!!

Ogo bondhu, shei dhabomaan kal joriy dhorilo more feli taar jaal.
tule nio druthorothe, dhushahoshi brahamaner pothe.
toma hote bohudure.
Mone hoye, ojosro mritture paar hoye ashilam.
aji noboprobhaater shikhorochurae.
Rother chonchol beg hawoyae oray amar purono naam.
phiribaar poth nahi, duur hote jodi dekho chahi paribena chinita amae,
hey bondhu biday....

Konodin kormohin purono obokashe, boshonto akashe,
otiter teer hote je ratre bohibe drighoshaash, jhora bokuler kanna bohibe akash,
shei kone khuje dekho kichu mor piche rohilo she tomar praner prante.
Bismriti prodoshe hoyto dibe she jyoti, hoyto dhoribe kobu naam hara shopner murti.
tobu she to shopno noe shobche shotto mor, shei mrittyunjay,
she amar prem.
Tare ami rakhiya elam oporibiorton argho tomar udesshe.
poribortoner srote ami jai bheshe, kaler jatrae..
hey bondhu biday...


An English translation, which probably wouldn't explain it's meaning so well as in the Bengali version, but still...


My friend! 
I have been caught in the net cast by that flying time 
It has made me its mate in its intrepid journey 
And taken me in its speeding chariot 
Far away from you. 
To reach the summit of this morning I seem to have left behind many deaths 
My past names seem to stream In the strong wind 
Born of the chariot's speed. 
There is no way to turn back, if you see me from afar you will not recognize me my friend, 
Farewell! 

If in your lazy hours without any work ,the winds of springtime 
brings back the sighs from the past 
ss the cries of shedding spring flowers fill the skies 
please see and search if in a corner of your heart 
you can find any remnants of my past; 
In the evening hours of fading memories it may shed some light 
or take some nameless form as if in a dream. 
yet it is not a dream it is my truth of truths 
it is deathless,  it is my love. 
Changeless and eternal I leave it as my offering to you 
in the ever changing flow of time 
Let me drift. 
My friend, farewell! 

Monday, June 6, 2016

keno re ei dwurtuku....

কেন রে এই দুয়ারটুকু পার হতে সংশয় ?
              জয় অজানার জয়।
এই দিকে তোর ভরসা যত, ওই দিকে তোর ভয় !
              জয় অজানার জয় ॥
জানাশোনার বাসা বেঁধে   কাটল তো দিন হেসে কেঁদে,
     এই কোণেতেই আনাগোনা নয় কিছুতেই নয় ।
              জয় অজানার জয় ॥
          মরণকে তুই পর করেছিস ভাই,
              জীবন যে তোর তুচ্ছ হল তাই ।
দু দিন দিয়ে ঘেরা ঘরে        তাইতে যদি এতই ধরে,
          চিরদিনের আবাসখানা সেই কি শূন্যময় ?
              জয় অজানার জয় ॥


Aaji srabon!!!

আজি   শ্রাবণঘনগহন মোহে    গোপন তব চরণ ফেলে
নিশার মতো, নীরব ওহে,    সবার দিঠি এড়ায়ে এলে ।
প্রভাত আজি মুদেছে আঁখি,    বাতাস বৃথা যেতেছে ডাকি,
নিলাজ নীল আকাশ ঢাকি    নিবিড় মেঘ কে দিল মেলে ॥
কূজনহীন কাননভূমি,    দুয়ার দেওয়া সকল ঘরে–
একেলা কোন্ পথিক তুমি     পথিকহীন পথের 'পরে ।
হে একা সখা, হে প্রিয়তম,     রয়েছে খোলা এ ঘর মম,
সমুখ দিয়ে স্বপনসম    যেয়ো না মোরে হেলায় ঠেলে ॥
I think the essence of songs written by Rabindranath can alone be felt in bengali.... still a translation!!!

This day of Sravan*, you arrive,
In deep, dense clouds,
Your footsteps, clandestine,
Silent, like the night --
Unseen to all.
The morning has dimmed,
The winds call out in vain,
Clouds, impermeable,
Veil a blue, lucid sky.
Birds speechless in the woods,
All doors shut
Who are you, solo traveler --
Walking this lonely path,
Lone friend, my love,
Open is my door,
Mindless, do not pass me by
Like a reverie.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Be right back!!!

Clumsy mind, dirty hands..... filthy thoughts..
Have been off for a while..
be right back...

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

What if i say?

From being the unwanted girl child, to how she was grappled at in a lift ..Stories come to our notice only cause the "victims" are famous faces..
How many stories of a middle class girl from one of those cities come to our view if it isn't for the media, or a connection with one of those socially famous people?
Not everyone knows of that girl who was a second born to a middle class family living in a small town.As against the expectations of her parents and their in-laws she was born 'A girl", a second girl child..
Not deprived of anything in life, she was just deprived of love.
Things weren't exactly how it was with her siblings, but then she could never complain. That's the best she had always...
They say things change with time,but seldom so!!!
As she grew up she realized not much of her life choices could actually be made by herself. Why you ask? cause she was a girl,a girl to a working class family... Not much was allowed to be decided by her.
Her  choice of friends show her character, her choice of lifestyle decided who would CHOOSE her as their life partner.
No matter how any times they told her to be educated and independent before getting settled in life, when she attained the marriageable age ,they started looking for suitors. Irrespective of her decisions, of how she wanted to live, of her educational status. everything became secondary then...
yet again what mattered is her parents choice, choice regarding her social life, of who she choose to be in her life, of who she wanted to be with, of how educated she wanted to be, or how independent she should be. The reason this time - her to be in - laws could follow all her steps, and probably wouldn't be too open minded to accept an independent, outgoing girl like herself.
Made her wonder if she had done mistakes, were all others invincible?
Wonder if all those efforts to make them proud were in vain?
Wonder if it mattered at all? cause end of the day all she got to hear is " you are not worth it!!!"..

Wonder What? Wonder if?? Wonder why???



Sunday, January 17, 2016

They call it HOME for a reason..

Small town girl,brought up in a place with a  mix of culture, yet a place with a definition of it's own.
With amenities just as well placed,the infrastructure and the transportation system planned like any other city this place was far from the hue and cry of the metro life. It had it's own character, while families depended mostly on income from the steel plant at the heart of the city, men had a 9 to 5 job , children got good schooling and a decent social life too, women had the most to be offered with regular kitty parties and flexible job options.
Me as a kid in the city was exposed to the teenage life, wherein going to school used to be fun cause you would have people with your own kind of thoughts to socialise with. after school hours would be just as much fun with new cafes and eateries popping up every other day just to attract this crowd,  but yet then this town never lost its significant position when it comes to children being successful, say in education or extra curriculars or even in life's moral lessons.
 I still remember those days when sitting and having dinner at a restaurant  with your family would be fun with everyone talking to each other instead of talking to the world outside over the phone while being physically present on the same table. When a get together with good food and good music at home would be much more cherish-able than the loud music at the pub, when grades of every next guy would be criticized by the aunties at the kitty parties,but which somehow just inspired us to be better, where moral values are what people lived by, kiddish though but dating anyone had a protocol, hiding your affairs from your parents (who by the way would always act to be ignorant about it) was fun, bunking tuition to hangout with your friends wouldn't be a crime if done once,but god forbid you if you keep on repeating it.
Small though, routine though life had a meaning a path to follow,a goal to achieve.
When good name in the society would inspire you to better yourself as a person, in turn keep you away from trouble.
When your neighbour would for a change talk good about you,or say that family on the next street where you used to go cycling would wanna get their son married to you, you know you should have been a really good ,decent child .
But as they say change is inevitable, we all change with time, so much so that now if i meet my school friends it's hard to adjust with the changed circumstances.Good or bad we all get to live a different life.
A new freedom,new thoughts, new surroundings, peer pressure, home sickness ,loneliness everything keeps on pressuring you to do something different everyday,small small things change you in  big way,when suddenly a day comes you don't recognize yourself anymore.
Your mirror shows you a new better version of you, but your heart still longs to be the same.
There comes a time when you realize all those years you had put a dust cover on yourself, this is not what you are.
You are better, you could do better, you could remove the dust and get your heart in place..
That's where your home plays a very important role.
A visit now and then reminds you of who you were, what you wanted to be, what or who really matters, a picture of how you had been brought up for the good.
A simple meal,A heart to heart conversation with your family, that bed which gives you a peaceful sleep, that balcony showing you familiar loving faces ( not people putting on masks), the grounds you played on, and that lover boy you ditched ;p ...
You find yourself back...and there is a possibility that it is for the best.